


I’m safer with you

by Cookies_and_all_things_nice



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Archivist Jonathan Sims, Cuddling is included, Directly after 160 end, M/M, Martin Blackwood - Freeform, My First Work in This Fandom, Panic Attacks, Sensory Overload, Sharing a Bed, Soft boys working through pain, TMA 160 hurt me so now I’m writing this, The magnus archives podcast spoilers, cuddling after a panic attack, jon and Martin, jonmartin, post 160, soft fluff, the magnus archives - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:29:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cookies_and_all_things_nice/pseuds/Cookies_and_all_things_nice
Summary: Jon finally falls to his knees, his brain no longer able to process everything at once as an onset of emotions, fear and satisfactionbattle to be the foreword emotion in his mind. He collapses against Martin, sinking all the way to the floor from his knees, letting outthe pain and fear he holds in him in choked gasping sobs.Martin is there. Martin is there for him.Post 160 where Martin calms down Jon and lovingly cares for him
Relationships: Martin Blackwood & Jonathan Sims, Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 12
Kudos: 154





	I’m safer with you

Jon finally falls to his knees, his brain no longer able to process everything at once as an onset of emotions, fear and satisfaction battle to be the foreword emotion in his mind. He collapses against Martin, sinking all the way to the floor from his knees, letting out the pain and fear he holds in him in choked gasping sobs.

He can feel everything. He can see everything. Martins hand that was gripped tightly against his own falls away as he lets go, digging his fingers deeply into his palm. However, he no longer feels it as everything goes numb around him.

He continues to let out breathy, broken wheeps of hysterical laughter until his throat is sore and his eyes turn red from the tears that have fallen down his face. He closes his eyes tightly, trying to get away from everything, from not looking at what he has done to the world. But His thoughts were loud and attacked him, His back hunched as more desperate tears fall. He started to wail his chest constricting as every breath became more difficult. It was hopeless.  
This was the end..

It took him until he felt something warm on his face to realise that Martin had knelt down and was talking to him.

“Jon, hey shh focus on me” his voice is soft and loving yet stern and he can’t help but look up as he sees martins blurry face before him.  
Martin had reached out his hand and gently placed it on jons check.

Jon felt him rubbing his finger over the places where the tear tracks glistened and wiped them away.  
Martin was also completely terrified at everything that just happened, his heart had jolted when jon had fallen against him and it was now trying to beat out of his chest. He had froze as he watched Jon break.  
But Jon needed his help and he had to calm him down. He knew he had to ground him and distract him from what had quickly become a panic attack and the best thing he knew to do so was to get him to focus on something. So right now his emotions didn’t matter.

Jon seemed to flinch slightly from the touch. His eyes, although staring at Martins’ where off and distant. He cries out and grabs at martin's arm gripping the end of his sleeve in awkward motions, his gaze falling away from martins as his head buzzed and he let out a blubber of words that didn’t make sense.

“Jon look at me” martins hand gently guides his head up.  
“Do you see me?”. It was strong and deliberate and it got through.

Jon's eyes moved and connected with his as he registers Martin is there and Martins heart did another leap as he saw the utter pain and panic behind them.

Jon throat loosens as his vision starts to go clearer and Martin is there, Martin is with him. Everything is suddenly starting to come back to him again.

He opens his mouth but a wave of panic hits as he starts to gasp for air.

“Martin, Martin I can’t-“

“It’s ok Jon breath with me” he says maintaining eye contact and taking a deep breath in for Jon to follow.

Jon tries to copy but his breath is faulty and he closes his eyes again as he drowns in a growing panic and feels the overwhelming shock hitting him full force against his struggles to breath.

“I can’t I-“

“Breath with me nice and slow”

Martins’ other hand is now firm on his shoulder and rubbing gently.

Jon, with his head still Spinning wildly, takes a deep breath in. Then another. Then another as he copies martins pattern until he finds it and suddenly his chest isn’t so tight anymore and air is coming back to him.

He realises he’s shaking badly as tears start to fall again. Martin opens his mouth to speak but Jon is falling forward into him wrapping his arms so tightly around him like he’s never going to let go.

And he’s crying and crying into Martins shoulder.

“I’m sorry Martin I’m so sorry I didn’t mean for any of this-“

Martin wraps his arms around jon and starts to rub smoothing patterns into his back gently,  
“It’s ok it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. Things are looking bad right now but we can get through this and fix it”.

This also helped to calm his own nerves down and just from the hug he felt much better, even if he didn’t fully believe what he was saying.

They lost track of how long they lay there but the hug was enough.  
Holding each other in their arms as the last beacons of love and hope, and hiding away from the terrors of the world's end.

Jon finally stops crying and just lays his head on martins shoulder as Martin continues to gently rub his back.

“Common let’s go you inside” Martin whispers and Jon doesn’t react so Martin scoops him up in his arms and holds him safely as he gets up, turns around, and carries Jon inside like a baby.

Once inside, Martin carries him straight over to the bed and lays him gently down on it, pulling the blanket up close to his neck so he can lose himself in it.

Jon hasn’t said much, but martin understands and he knows that Jon would appreciate this. He climbs into bed the other side and gently scooches up to him, sliding his hand into jons and squeezing it tightly. Not much, but just to say ‘I’m here’.

Jon turns his head slightly and leans in, “are you ok Martin?” He asks tiredly.

Martin smiles.

He wasn’t, and he wasn’t sure how they were going to be ok after this not to mention how to manage the fallout, but right now in this moment with Jon?  
He was ok.

Martin leans over and kisses Jon on the forehead and Jon closes his eyes humming. “I’m better with you”.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this idea after a discussion with a really good friend of mine who also helped with the editing and spelling checks!.  
> (Thank you dude you know who you are so credit to you to!).


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